This is what we’re used to. Unfortunately most of us have suffered some form of mental or physical trauma in our childhood that shaped your mentality for adulthood. Whether it was your dad not being there, one of your parents being a narcissist, getting spanked, etc… Whether is was intentional or not, it usually stems from our childhood.
Pain and suffering is familiar and that’s what we’re comfortable with. Changing anything within us takes hard work and strength.
Like an addiction, It takes strength to change our habits and do something we don’t usually do.